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You say you are okay, but I know you aren’t. You can try to push me away, I won’t let you. I do my best to open and let you into my life. You might not like it, but I am going to send you text after text, call after call, anything to make you happy again, because I can’t stand seeing you hurt. It breaks my heart, I just want to see you smile. I don’t care if I am annoying you, or if I am stereotyped as “needed”. It is worth it, because I love you. I will always put you before myself, because I care to much. It is worth it. If loving you that means that I have to let you go or if it means that i will have to stand by your side forever, I will do that.

I feel as if every time I try and say how I feel, I am just pushed back into the fear of losing you and everything we have worked for. I love you so much. You left me once and I am terrified I am going to mess things up and lose you again. My insecurities are going to be the down fall of my life.

I want to be more than sex,
meaningless sex.

This is me envious
as I write her name on a mug
and smash it against the wall.

This is me selfish
with my hands around your wrists.

This is me lonely
ever-flowing, irrational, leech.

This is me angry.
This is me drama queen.
This is me greedy, always needy.
Open bones, endless questions,
chocolate-dipped anxiety.

This is me desperate,
this is me starving.
Poisonous disease -
This is me wanting
more, more, and always more.

Now -

Will you touch me?
Do you still want to?

Sade Andria Zabala (surfandwrite) | Should We Take It To The Next Level? (via surfandwrite)
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